Tag Archives: 30 days of blogging

Fear…

More and more the world seems to going to hell in a hand basket; gun related crimes, hate crimes, bombings, it never ends. Everytime I listen to the news I want to climb back and bed, pull the covers over my head, and pretend it’s not happening.  But this is the real world and fear is something we can’t escape. It’s ever present. 

I’ll be the first to admit I am afraid of many things (practically phobic of some) but more than anything I fear the unknown. I am a planner through and through. I make lists in my head, in my sleep, practically without thinking about it. I am the person that wants to see the whole picture while also thinking of all the tiny details. When something unknown arises, something unexpected, my first instinct is often let fear overcome me. To become paralyzed by that fear, but I saw a meme recently that said you have 2 choices with fear…

  1. Forget everything and run
  2. Face everything and rise

So with fear, you can let it consume you, let it dictate your life and your choices or you can face it.  Often time when we face our fears it’s not nearly as bad as we thought it would be. It’s through our mistakes, our calculated risks, our experiences we grow and learn. 

A Quote I Try and Live By…

“There is no future, there is no past. I live this moment as my last. There’s only us. There’s only this. 

Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other road. No other way. No day but today. 

I can’t control my destiny. I trust my soul, my only goal is just to be. 

There’s only now, there’s only here. Give into love, or live in fear. No other course, no other way.

NO DAY BUT TODAY.”

I think this quote encapsulates how I try and live my life. Now with that being said I have often felt complacent and stuck in a rut. I was perfectly content to let the world pass me by. But as I grow older, and have had more life experiences, I’ve come to realize how short life can be. Carpe diem! Seize the day! I don’t ever want to wonder, “what if” or have any regrets. 

As with anything though abiding by and following the quote’s message can be difficult, and I am only human. There are times when being shy and having social anxiety have prevented me from participating in activities and/or meeting people. Even to this day walking into a room filled with people I don’t know scares the crap out of me. 

So does seizing the day mean I go and take ridiculous risks? No, hardly. I am still careful and cautious. I am still hesitant and shy.  I just remind myself… there’s no day but today and in doing so it makes me go want to go and try new things, meet more people, and make more memories… 

Day 7: Five Pet Peeves…

  1. People who do not use their turn signal when driving: In NoVA this is a HUGE problem! I swear I did not have road rage until I moved to NoVa. What’s almost as bad are people who forget to turn off their turn signal, and all you can do is watch it continue to flash.  
  2. Liars: no explanation needed
  3. People who snap or crack their gum: you are not a cow so do not act or chew like one.
  4. People who are rude to others: to this all I have to say Karma is a bitch, those that are rude or nasty to other will get their just rewards someday.
  5. People who use the word like excessively: we are not valley girls and should not talk that way. I try and tell my students that someday when they are in the real world trying to land their first “real” job what they say and how they say it will be one of the ways future employers will judge them.

Day 6: My Views on Mainstream Music…

I’ll be the first to tell you I know practically nothing about mainstream music. I am often so far behind the “cool” or NBT that I shouldnt even be writing about this… Anyways, my favorite music groups or artists these days are:

  • Pentatonix
  • Megan Trainor
  • Bruno Mars
  • Fifth Harmony
  • Josh Groban
  • Adele
  • Katy Perry
  • Lady Gaga

I’m not one that is into heavy metal or rock, but will at times listen to some rap and country. Whether you agree with my music selection that’s up to you. I just know what I like to listen to. 

Day 5: Things I Would Like to Say to an Ex…

Being with you made me learn more:

  • About myself: you taught me so many things about myself I didn’t know. You taught me to see the big picture, while also seeing the small details. You showed me that there is so much more to life; life is made up of experiences, people, places, food, culture, etc. and to live we should take the time to experience and appreciate those things. 
  • About love: you taught me what it is like to love someone else completely and whole heartedly.  To love them with all their faults. Love them through the highs and lows that life throws at you. Love them even when you can’t stand to look at them.
  • About being selfless: teaching me that it is ok to let someone else “win” the fight. To also teach me to think about someone else’s needs/wants before my own.
  • About being confidant: teaching me to find my voice and the confidence to use it. To trust myself, my experiences, my knowledge, and my words, and to not let fear and anxiety dictate my life.
  • About my inner strength: teaching and showing me that I am stronger than I ever thought I could be, that even in my darkest moments I can rise and overcome.
  • About heartbreak: teaching me that love sometimes ends, and at the time it may feel like the world is ending, but eventually a person can move on, and even love again.

And it is with these things I have to thank you, because without you I wouldn’t have learned these things about myself.

Day 4: My day…

  • 2:30 am woke up to pee
  • 6:30 am woke up to pee again. I’ve been drinking more water lately so this is to be expected
  • 10:30 am woke up. I dont often sleep in, but it felt good to just be lazy
  • 11:00 am ate a few mini donuts while waking up
  • 11:00 -2:30 pm watched House on Dvd. While watching House ate a few hotdogs. 
  • 2:30-4:30 took a nap. Embracing this lazy day as much as I can 
  • 4:30-8:00 watching more House dvds 
  • 8:00 Dinner of hamburgers, corn, and mac & cheese
  • 8:30 Did the dishes, unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher
  • 9:00 – 12:30 watched more House on Dvd. Sadly I’ve now watched all the seasons of House I own. Guess I’ll have to binge watch a different show tomorrow. 

Day 3: A book I love…

It’s SO hard to pick just one book!

There are so many I love: The Fault in Our Stars, Bitter is the New Black, The Last Symbol, to name just a few. 

For me a book that transports me, evokes feelings, makes me buy into the characters and story is the markings of a great book. If I can reread it countless times and srill feel the same way after the 100th reading loke I did after the 1st reading, that’s also a great book. 

If I had to choose just one book I would go with Jane Green’s “Promises to Keep”. In her story you meet two sisters, one that is seemingly living the perfect life, while the other sister seems to be drifting through life. It’s only after Callie is diagnosed with cancer (again) that you see the strength a family has for each other as they prepare for the unimaginable to happen.  

I think the reason the book resonates so much with me is that my relationship with my sister is very similar to the obe shared by the sisters in the book. Although it has makings of a “chick lit” book it goes so mich deeper than that. Take a chance and read it, trust me, you’ll thank me later.