Cautious Optimism…

Is it bad to say I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop with the new relationship? Although new, things are going well with the new guy I’ve been dating. He provides me with a sense of peace that I haven’t felt in a long time. He likes me, and tells me so, often. He shows genuine enthusiasm and excitement to talk with me and see me.

And yet, if experience has taught me anything the other shoe inevitably drops, usually when we least expect it.

So, do I carry on, saying to hell with whatever happens… or do I live in the constant fear of the unknown.

It may seem easy to say… don’t sweat the small stuff. Live, enjoy the ride, worrying won’t change anything, but that’s easier said than done.

Recently when talking to friend he said this relationship is just shiny and new, and after the initial excitement wears off we’re bound to fall into the same rut as most people do. What’s more we’re both divorced and relationships (or marriages) after a divorce are doomed to fail. I assured him that wouldn’t be the case, but I have to say his words stuck with me, as much as I hate to admit it.

I don’t want to be cynical. I don’t want to doubt. But what if he’s right?

After much thought on it I’ve decided for my own sanity and peace of mind I’m just proceeding with cautious optimism. Take it slow. Trust my instincts. And maybe this relationship works out, maybe it doesn’t. But I can’t spend the rest of my life avoiding life (and love) with the fear of “what if”. Because that’s not living. I’ve spent too much time wasting my life, avoiding life, and I’m tired of it. Sometimes you just have to take the leap of faith.

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