It’s amazing how one thing can cause you to question and doubt everything… And worst of all; doubt yourself.
Doubt is a sneaky bastard. You don’t realize it has a grasp on you until it’s too late. It’s not like it announces it’s arrival, or is easily recognized.
For me acknowledging things were not working with my husband made me doubt everything, especially myself. I questioned everything. Was it my fault? Did I say or do something that caused the implosion? Was it because I was no longer desirable? Or worse yet, was I ever desirable to him?
It’s hard to explain how you lose yourself piece by piece when struggling these types of thoughts and feelings. Truth be told it took me a long time to realize that although things weren’t working between my husband and myself the blame or responsibility did not rest solely on my own shoulders. That his actions, or inaction, was a large factor in my unhappiness.
What does the future hold? I honestly don’t know. But what I do know is I happy to know that although it was tough I will be happier in the end by walking away than staying and becoming an empty shell of a person.